Greetings, mortal whelps!
As part of my efforts to prove to the accursed Brode that I possess the necessary experience to command the Hearthstone development team, I have decided to expand my efforts to all aspects of mortal enterprise.
At first I considered peddling power and vengeance, but according to my focus testing, the foremost human craving seems to be for cold, creamy, sweetened sludge. I have decided to create a frozen-cream sugar-ooze unlike any you have ever tasted. You will desire it.
Prepare yourselves for the grand opening of Ice Cream Citadel, a fortress of refreshment in the scorching heat that afflicts this place. I will be on hand to personally help you conquer the heat with free ice cream. You need spend no money for your first taste of my power.
Choose from an endless selection of TWO flavors:
Behold my tasteful brochure:
Attend the Petco Park Interactive Zone in San Diego near San Diego Comic-Con® and be guided to your just desserts by this map:
You may also take photographs of me with no immediate fear of retribution. Share proof of your delicious ice cream conquests on social media using the #icecreamcitadel “hashtag,” whatever that means.
Begin preparations for your journey now. Ice Cream Citadel will receive supplicants between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. PDT July 20 through July 22, and 9:00 am to 5:00 pm PDT on July 23.